“I value my health because without my health you cannot have much. Ya know, you can have all the money, all the fame, all the fortune in the world… but without your health, you cannot have anything.”
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"I think he was in kindergarten and his closest friend at the time was pushing him around and I happened to see it. I did not want to intervene because I think that kids need to learn to manage themselves. I talked to him about it and he said that he would tell his teacher who is Mr. Blumberg. And he did, so he asked this other student to sit out during recess. Aadi spent the entire recess sitting with this kid so that he would not feel bad and he kept asking him “Are you OK? Don’t be sad, this will be over and we will play again.” So, a lot of times even when he is wronged, he feels sympathy for the other person. Over time I’ve seen in several instances people will come and say something to him or they will behave in a mean manner and he will come to me and he will say, “I feel sorry for them because they don’t know better.” So he doesn’t hold a grudge, he doesn’t get angry so I would say that’s the theme I’ve seen with him throughout."
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I learned so much from my students about how important it was to make sure that schools were also places where humans could grow. It’s important for young people to be able to figure out who they are, to develop their own identity, to figure out what their passions are, to really know their strengths and their struggles, and to be able to navigate a world in which they need the skills and know-how to showcase their strengths and advocate for themselves.
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"We came to live in the US as immigrants is because we want to give a better future for our kids. Although China has opulent opportunities for our generation to create fortune, it’s definitely not a place to raise future generations. Now we’re living in a blessed area with top schools in the nations, but I still see a lot of things that aren’t set up for creating a future world citizen. ...I also worry about the mentality of racing to nowhere here. In this environment, everyone is very competitive on reaching goals. Well, I don’t want her to conform to this competitive culture without knowing what she should be running for."
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I worry that because he’s been sheltered a bit by living an upper middle class life that his reality is different from a lot of other people who look like him. Finding your balance in that is difficult - I grew up similar – to figure out where you fit in as a black person in this world when society tells you one thing and you experience something completely different is hard. It’s probably easier for kids now because minorities are becoming the majority. But I worry that he won’t carry his identity with him in the way I do. It’s the first thing I say when people ask me to say a little about myself - I’m a black woman. Kids these days don’t carry that with them in a way they’re proud of.
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What I see is a lot of little things being addressed but the whole child outcome isn’t really changing. That’s a common view with people I talk to. It’s highlighted in this area: there’s a huge percentage of kids who just don’t make it through, or they make it through and then what? What is the path? If there’s no path that helps them to that life of choice and independence and healthy relationships, then what has been the point of the 18 years?
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I want them to appreciate that financial security can give them an element of freedom in their lives, while also recognizing that buying things isn’t where that joy is going to come from. Another way to look at it is that stability starts with balance. So really, a balanced life is what I want for them.
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I think that school should make them feel comfortable thinking about what a good life is for themselves, and encourage them to value their own perspective on what it means to be successful, and pay attention to what it is that makes them feel the most satisfied. That doesn’t mean necessarily that school will allow them to feel satisfied all the time, but it should help them understand how to listen to that within themselves.
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I would like an education system in which we would have space for kids to develop at their own pace without being labeled, where kids could pursue and explore various different things, where they weren’t bound to desks and could be doing all kinds of other things, where they could have a democratic sense of the world around them - with a voice and a stake.
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I think it’s natural for us to think about schooling as that road to a career. I think that’s very traditional and I think that’s a part of it but I think the other part is nurturing some of those passions in ways that kids might not have envisioned for themselves or their parents might not have envisioned for them.
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I think all parents want their kids to be happy. But sometimes that means they think their child will only be happy if they go to an Ivy League or highly selective college and have every opportunity they either did or didn’t have. Parents always want what’s best for their kid but we have trouble seeing that sometimes those heavy-handed goals towards what’s “best” have negative mental and emotional ramifications for the kids.
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